Perfect For You
by The-Fiyero-Torturers
Summary: It started as a prank, but ended as a marriage. What the thirst for revenge has joined, let no woman put asunder. The epic story of Foq. Dahling and Squintzie wonder twin powers activate! :P
1. Let's start from the Beginning

**Notes:** You know the drill. My partner in crime and I alternate writing chapters which may make the story seem kind of disjointed to you, but makes it 5x more fun for us…and who's really important here? :P I feel very privileged and excited to be the one to start things off with this prologue. Dahling and I have great plans for this story. You won't want to miss it. We'll be updating once a week (and if we miss a deadline I'm sure it will be her fault ;P). So mark off Thursday mornings on your calendars because the Fiyero Torturers have come to play!

I hope you enjoy! :)

-Squintzie

_**Prologue: Avaric**_

I had heard the story, bit by bit, from various people, and, as generally happens in such cases, each time it was a different story. No one could make sense of how five reasonably intelligent people had gotten themselves so hopelessly entangled in each other's lives in such abnormal and unhealthy ways, much less why two men who had previously identified themselves as _very_ heterosexual would elope to the Emerald City-- although everyone had certainly tried their very best to puzzle it out, interjecting false details and theories of their own devising wherever there were holes in the true story. I, myself, was less worried about figuring out the actual events and the motives behind them, and more worried about the reasons why three out of the five aforementioned, obviously confused, young adults had decided to involve _me_ in their problems.

I looked from the woman sitting-- or rather sulking-- on my bed; to the other young woman who was sitting on the room's other bed, her head drooped in sorrow and her long hair hiding her face from view (I was amazed at her ability to play the martyr even when a good portion of what had happened -- as far as I could tell at least-- was her fault); to Fiyero who was pacing the floor, holding a foul smelling slab of meat over his blackened eye and scowling at the entire room with an air of wounded pride. I heaved a heavy sigh. The Unnamed God must really hate me.

There was a knock at the door and I answered it with no small degree of apprehension. My luck dictated that there could only be one of two people on the other side of that door. Sure enough, as I opened the door, I found myself face to face with both of them.

"I'm looking for my husband and the love of my life…I thought you may have seen one or both of them," the Munchkin by the name of Baq or Squic or Beq or something of the sort said in a blustering tone that belied his defeated posture. His expression suggested that he was fully aware of how ridiculous he sounded and would not appreciate being reminded of such.

"I don't even know why I'm here," the final player in the game sighed. "This just seemed like the place to be."

I stepped aside and allowed them both in, resigning myself to my role as unwilling referee. "They're both already here."

His face registered surprise, anger, and sadness all in quick succession before he forced an impassive mask over it. "So I see."

There were several furtive looks passed between my five guests as the new arrivals walked into the room and I had to resist the urge to grab all of them by their collars and knock their heads together.

"It could be worse," a cheerful voice chirped in an effort to lighten the mood. "Crope and Tibbett could have followed us."

"They're sleeping on the couch in my new apartment," Biq sighed.

"_Our _new apartment," Fiyero reminded him dutifully.

"They're sleeping on the couch in Fiyero's and my new apartment. They'll be down later," Boq said morosely.

"Oh."

The room was silent.

I cleared my throat. "Sit down," I ordered. "All of you."

There were several enraged outcries at my statement and childish squawks of, "I'm not going to sit next to _her/him_!"

I waved their protests away, "If you're going to insist on treating me like your therapist, we're going to have a good, old-fashioned group therapy session. Now sit."

"Avaric, I really don't see…" Elphaba began in a reasonable tone.

"Ah! But _I_ do see a purpose in it," I said as condescendingly as I dared. There was no sense in pushing the green bean too far. She had already been jerked around quite a lot throughout the past few weeks and she wasn't known for her even temper even in the best of times. "Now sit."

Once all five were settled on the two beds-- Boq perched on the very edge of the one on the left and looking like he was about to take off running, the unlucky prince of the Vinkus sandwiched between two angry women (and looking far too happy about it), and Nessarose sitting on the opposite bed all by herself-- I began my speech.

"You, all five of you, have made a mockery of the institution of marriage…several times over. You have brought shame to the land of Oz, Shiz, and your individual families. You let your hormones control you like teenagers…"

"We still _are_ teenagers," Nessa pointed out, "some of us at least."

I glared at her. "I was trying to make a point. As I was saying, you let your hormones control you like teenagers and now that what you have done has blown up in your faces, you, like children, expect someone else to take care of your problems. I'm not saying that I won't help, Lurline certainly knows that you five need all the help you can get, but I want you all to be prepared to take responsibility and deal with the consequences of your actions, is that clear?"

They nodded with various degrees of reluctance, both resentful to be talked to like children and grudgingly accepting that they deserved to be chastised.

"Don't get too smug now, Av," Fiyero warned. "You've made some rather large mistakes yourself in the past. Need I remind you of…"

"Now, let's start at the beginning," I suggested, raising my voice to drown Fiyero out. "How did this whole mess come about?"

Boq sheepishly raised his hand. "Well, one day I was sitting at breakfast, minding my own business when…"

As I listened to the long, strange story that followed, I rubbed my temples with my forefingers and began to wonder why I bothered to get up that morning.

The Beginning…


	2. We have a Problem

**_Do doo doo doo _Look who got finished with her chapter! So it is I, Poppy Dahling, and I have written a lovely chapter for all you readers out there. I don't have much to say since I am: A) On time with this. B)Just don't have many thoughts running around at this time of night. And C) I keep singing to NTN songs. :p**

**I do hope you enjoy this chapter. Since I have a deadline and my life is so busy, I didn't have time to send this over to HC, my beta. If there are stupid mistakes, my apologies. I tried (Real hard since I had to rewrite this, Squintzie. :p)**

**Enjoy and tell us what you think!**

**Disclaimer: Poppy and Squintzie enter on stage and a beautiful song starts to play. Poppy sings for her mother. "There was a time when I owned Wicked. Was a time the ownership was mine. It was divi-ine. Now I see Stephen coming. Now I know he doesn't want to share," she sighes. "I'm aware." The music starts to speed up and the only thing Poppy can sing at such a speed is, "Oh, IIII miss the ownership!" The Elitists sneak on stage and pull the microphone away. "Hey," Poppy calls out, "give that back!" The batman theme song starts to play. Squintzie and Poppy yell "To the BASmobile!" and the story starts.**

_

* * *

_

_What in Oz is this?_ I held the spoon closer to my face. Maybe they forgot to turn the fridge on again? Watching the chunky milk plop into my bowl, I waited for _her _to arrive. She was running a bit behind. Where was she? Did something happen? _Oh, dear Lurline, let her be all right,_ I prayed. _Send me a sign she is all right._

"Boq!" And who should she send? "There you are!" Fiyero.

Sighing, I looked up and almost fell off the bench laughing. There, strutting his stuff toward me, was Fiyero, drenched in bright, bubble gum pink paint. I bit my lips to hold in my laughter as he made his way over.

"I'm so glad I found you," he squeaked out. He sat down next to me and bits of paint dripped onto my _brand new _Ozkin Chic pants; I made more room for him.

"What _happened_ to you?"

He wiped some of the paint off his face. "Galinda. Galinda Upland of the All-Mighty Uplands happened to me." I did _not _like the way he spoke about my woman like that.

"Galinda?"

I saw him trying to sneak in my good muffin. I was tempted to tell him he didn't need the muffin, but didn't feel like insulting the man's weight in his already bad situation.

"We have a situation," he declared as if reading my mind. "I need your help getting revenge."

More paint landed on my pants. Pursing my lips, I whispered in agitation, "_We? Revenge?_"

"Galinda is out to kill me." I gave him a look and took my muffin back. A handsome man like myself deserved his morning muffin. Right? "No, I'm serious, like, she is totally out to get me!"

It was way too early for this. "Let me hear your story." Why did it seem like this prince put me through more odd experiences than Elphaba did?

"Well, it all started when I was a little boy-"

"The beginning of your 'life threatening' case. When did _that _start?" Oz the boy was dumb. I smiled smugly. They couldn't all be as wise as Boq Boulman-Riddle.

Fiyero sat there, staring at me. He shook his head, getting _more _paint on my pants. Oh, was this boy going to pay. "It all started when I broke up with her."

This caught my attention. "When did you break up with that angel-_I mean_, Galinda. When did you break up with her?"

Fiyero counted off his fingers, a strong look of concentration plastered on the naïve face. "Three weeks. I think. It could have been five."

"Go on," I grumbled, taking a sip of my orange juice. I should have gotten coffee. Maybe if I could keep him talking…

"Boq, it's horrible. Bad things are happening to me! First, things from my room started to disappear. Then, holes in my pants, my _pants_, man! After that, the Jell-o in the shoes, a zoo in my bathroom, and finally the paint over the door."

I felt sorry for him. Poor man just didn't know how to handle the ladies like I did. "Why didn't you go change?"

"'Why didn't I go change?'" Fiyero mimicked. "Gee, Boq, I never thought of that!"

I frowned. "Quit with the sarcasm. It doesn't look right on you."

"I can't help it! And I tried to change. Guess what good ol' Galinda had up her sleeves: a hex! She hexed the bucket to refill and pour paint on me whenever I opened the door. Finally, I just gave up after I ran out of clean pants." He paused, stealing my sour cereal, taking a bite and spitting it out. "Blah. Your cereal sucks." He wiped his pink, rosy lips. "Anyways, this has been going on for weeks. I thought it was just something going around, but when I saw holes in my brand new Emeraldo-Chitor slacks, I _knew_ something was up."

This struck me as odd. Galinda wasn't good at magic. At all. So how was she able to do all that? "A zoo?" I asked skeptically. Surely he was joking.

"Yep. A zoo. I woke up one morning to a weird noise, notice it's coming from the bathroom, and what do you know, a bunch of zoo animals are there!"

I tried to wipe the paint off my pants, but nothing was working. "I thought you started to lock both doors and windows before going to bed. I told you to do so after those fan girls locked you in that cage. Remember? I had to come to your rescue?"

"Of course I remember," Fiyero responded, taking my napkin without asking. "How could you forget being tortured like that?" He shook his big, hairy head and began to wipe away some of the still wet paint. "That's the part I'm not getting. If I locked everything up, how could she have gotten in?"

"Magic," I replied. "Magic is apart of this."

The thought hit Fiyero as if a huge oyster had hit him in the face. "Galinda is horrible at magic!" _And the prize goes to…_ "Who could have helped her?" He rested his head in his right hand, trying to think.

I looked around, bored of the dumb prince already, when she caught my eye. It wasn't _her_, but she was close. In fact, this girl so happened to be Galinda's best friend. "Hey, I think I know who-"

"Not now."

I watched as Elphaba took out a heavy book, random objects, and a blanket. "I really think-"

"Let me think!"

She was chanting something now on the ground. A rabbit appeared. "Look over-"

Fiyero hit me and continued "thinking". I looked over at Elphaba again and saw that there were now many rabbits. _Twenty…Twenty-five…Thirty-five…_rabbits popping out of thin air!

"Who could it be?" Fiyero asked.

A bowl of Jell-o appeared in her lap. "I think I know wh-"

Fiyero hit me in the head. "I'm trying to focus!"

I had enough with his stupidity. Leaning over his short body, I moved his head in Elphaba's direction. "What do you see?" Fiyero resisted, but I persisted. The strong, all mighty munchkin _always _wins. "What do you _see?" _I asked again.

"Elphaba," he sighed.

"And what is around her?"

"Rabbits. Lots and lots of rabbits."

"What else?"

He squinted to see. "Jell-o. She's eating Jell-o." He turned his head. "Boq, what does this have to do with anything? Is it, like, against the law to watch rabbits and eat jell-o in the courtyard?"

I sighed. "Look what she is folding up."

He gasped. "How did she get all those holes in the blanket?"

"Who had _holes_ in his pants, Fiyero? Who had _animals_ in his bathroom, Fiyero? Who had _jell-o_ in his shoes, Fiyero?"

Fiyero stood up, realizing what I was getting at here. "Elphaba!" I shook my head. "Me! Elphaba did it, though. She is the one helping Galinda!"

I sarcastically clapped. "Bravo."

Fiyero stiffly sat down. "No need to be all sarcastic and, like, totally mean." We watched as Elphaba headed toward Crage Hall. Fiyero turned to me, an intense look on his face. "We need to get back at them."

"We?" I asked. "I have no part in this."

"Oh, yes, you do! You could be next, Boq. Just think what Galinda would tell Elphaba to do to her annoying stalker. Pretty scary things if you're catching my drift," he sang.

I sighed. I honestly wanted no part in this, but, shockingly enough, the dope had a point. I could be the next one after the heartbreaker. "Fine. I'll do it."

Fiyero jumped off the bench and did a little kick. "Oh! This going to be great. I know just what to do to get even with them." He squealed and giggled in excitement.

"Tell me the plan," I urged.

"The plan is-"

* * *

"Stop the story!" Fiyero demanded. "That is not how _I _remember it."

"Maybe your memory just sucks," I argued. "I thought it was pretty accurate."

"It's as accurate as-"

"Fiyero," Avaric interrupted, "not now. Borq was telling his side of the story."

"He's lying! I was not drenched in pink paint. It was red. I don't talk like a girl, and I definitely do _not _giggle and squeal."

"It's Boq," I muttered, embarrassed now. Avaric shrugged and encouraged me to go on with my story. "Fiyero told me-"

"Hold it," the prince interfered. "_I _am going to tell my side of the story. Since it seems you can't keep the facts straight."

"Can he do that?"

Avaric shrugged. "Sure. Don't see why not. Fiyero," he motioned for the prince to start.

"I told Boq that we should…"


	3. Nymphs and Fairies and Elves Oh My!

**Notes:** Ha! Take that Dahling! Not a moment to spare, but I did it! Beat my record for how quickly I can come up with an update too. 20 minutes. :D I gots mad skillz. :p

**Chapter Two: Fiyero**

A slow smile spread over my face and my eyes lit up with sinister delight. "This going to be great. I know just what to do to get even with them." I laughed malevolently as lightning crashed outside and a few women at the next table sighed softly as they suddenly realized how seductive evil could be.

* * *

A gagging noise interrupted my story. I shot Boq a glare. "You dare question my evilness?"

"I dare question your powers of seduction," the Munchkin corrected me with a deprecating snort.

"Yeah?" I blustered, trying to hide my wounded pride. "Well, my seductive powers worked well enough on…"

"Enough!" Avaric yelled.

We both turned to look at him.

"Continue with the story," Avaric continued irritably.

"Fine." I shrugged. "Where was I? Oh yes, everyone was thinking how sexy I am when I try to be evil."

"Not me." Boq said, though the quickness of his answer seemed rather suspect to me.

"Whatever, everyone thought I was sexy when being evil except for Boq who just thought I was sexy all the time."

"Did not!" Boq cried indignantly.

"Get on with the story!" Avaric-the-grumpy-gills shouted.

I complied.

* * *

"Tell me the plan! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me!" tiny Boq commanded, his miniature face contorted and his feet stamping on the table where he stood trying to gain enough height to be noticed and seen by the normal sized students of Shiz.

"Calm down, little one," I urged him, concerned that his tantrum would get out of hand and he would tumble off the table and hurt himself. "I'll tell you my diabolical plan."

"Tell me!" Boq whined once again, flapping his little fairy wings in consternation.

* * *

"Hold up!" Boq yelled indignantly. "I am not a fairy."

At this Galinda dissolved into giggles. "No comment," she gasped between guffaws.

Elphaba rolled her eyes. "Too easy. I'll let this one slide."

Nessa ignored us all and continued to sniffle out her broken heart.

"Whatever, shoemaking elf then," I replied to Boq's latest outburst. "How am I supposed to keep track of what tiny, mythical woodland creature you are?"

"I'm going to punch you in the eye," Boq hissed.

"Somebody already beat you to it." I indicated the purple ring around my left eye.

"I'm going to punch you in your other eye," the annoying Munchkin amended.

"For the love of all that is good and decent," Avaric snarled, "tell me what the plan was."

"I'm getting there," I placated my friend. "No need to get all bent out of shape. It's just a little domestic squabble."

Boq unclenched his fists and a ghost of a smile flickered over his face as he forgot his hissy fit in the face of a common enemy. "Some people have no patience," he said haughtily. He winked at me.

"I know." I shot my husband and sudden temporary ally a return wink as Avaric's face turned splotchy red. "He needs to learn to relax and go with the flow."

"Then the flow better go before I tell you all to flow out of my room," Avaric warned me.

"That doesn't even make sense," I pointed out.

Avaric glared at me.

"It doesn't," Boq backed me up.

"Story," Avaric rumbled.

* * *

"Three words, mini-man." I cackled. "Tar and feathers. These chicks need to know that's all they are, chicks. They can't play with the big dogs unless they want to get bitten."

"Where are we going to get tar?" the little gnome said, looking at me wonderingly.

"We don't need to use actual tar," I explained patiently. It was difficult sometimes, dumbing things down so the simpletons that surrounded me could understand. "We'll use honey. I happen to know that there are a couple particularly large, economy sized jars in the walk-in pantry in the kitchens. I can easily charm my way back there and sneak out the honey. You just need to get ahold of some pillows or feather dusters or go pluck a flock of geese. Then we'll set our trap and wait for the fireworks to begin—and before you ask, I do not mean literal fireworks. It was a figure of speech. Us intellectual types like to figure our speeches sometimes."

"That's an amazing plan Fiyero. I bow to your brilliance." Boq clapped his tiny hands.

* * *

"Figure our speeches? Unnamed God! You're dumb even when you're trying to make yourself seem smart. For the record, I didn't call the plan amazing. I said your plan was stupid and doomed to failure."

* * *

"Your plan is stupendous due to its fabulousness," Boq crooned.

"I know," I said modestly. "Now, come along, henchman. There is work to be done." I strode off purposefully.

* * *

"I'm not your henchman!" Boq squeaked. "We're equal partners in everything, remember?"

"'Til death do us part," I sighed.

"If there is one more interruption…" Avaric threatened.

"There's going to be nothing but interruptions and bickering if you let either of those two idiots tell the story," Elphaba said gruffly. "You need to let someone impartial do the talking."

"Like me!" Galinda interjected brightly.

"You?" Avaric asked incredulously.

"I wasn't nearly finished telling my side. I just started talking," I pointed out. "It's not fair."

"Suck it up, whinebag" Avaric hissed. He pointed to Galinda. "Your turn."

"Yay!" Galinda clapped her hands.

"Go," Avaric commanded. He addressed the rest of us. "And no interruptions."

"I wouldn't think of it," I said innocently.

"I wouldn't even dream of it," Boq tried to one-up me.

"I couldn't even comprehend it," I added.

Elphaba snorted. "Imagine that. Something Fiyero can't comprehend."

"Comprehend? Big word for one with such a tiny brain," Boq scoffed.

Why was everyone always ganging up on me?

"I guess you'd be the expert on tiny," I shot back.

"Don't make me send you two to separate corners," Avaric grumbled.

"Ahem." Galinda tapped her foot impatiently. "My turn to talk."

"So go ahead," I snapped. "Nobody's stopping you."

"You and Boq were talking," Galinda pouted.

"Yes, and they're not likely to stop soon, so you might as well talk over them," Elphaba sighed.

"Okay," Galinda shrugged. "I can talk loud. I WAS ON MY WAY TO…"

Galinda's shouting rattled the windows.

Yeesh, maybe I should have just quit while I was ahead.


	4. The Charmed Life

**So, I lost the bet. I am sorry. Really, I am, that you have had to wait. It's just...things have not been looking so hot in my life at the moment. First, I practically had a small melt down caused by stress, then I got sick because of the stress. I'm doing fine now, but that is why this is so late. School comes first. :)**

**Disclaimer: Poppy comes out in a Snow White costume. "La, la, la. What a beautiful day it is! Owning Wicked!" An evil, ugly looking crone comes out, holding a document. "Look here, my pretty," she croons out. "A document from Stephen Schwartz." Poppy smiles. "Oh, I hope he sends his best wishes! What does he say?" "He says, 'Get over your obsession. It's not healthy. Next time you try and take my ownership, I'll take your house and money. Got it?'" Poppy is stunned. "I'm not an owner?" "Nope," the crone hissed out. "You're just another fan." "Oh." Poppy faints to the floor, waiting for her ownership to come and wake her up. **

* * *

"I WAS ON MY WAY TO-"

"Galinda!" Avaric shouted. "QUIT SHOUTING!"

I folded my arms in frustration. "My, aren't we a little hypocrite."

"I'm not a hypocrite. I'm tired, cranky, and haven't had my coffee. I don't feel like listening to a cream puff shouting in my ear."

I balked at him. _Cream puff? _"I'll have you know-"

"I don't care." He got up and took a notebook off his desk.

"What's that for?"

"I feel more professional with this. Maybe if I look more like a therapist, you'll all respect my rules. Now, Galinda, start from the beginning."

I placed my delicately manicured finger on my chin. _The beginning…that was a very long time ago. _I giggled to myself. Not _too _long ago. I'm not that old! "I believe my earliest memory has to do with my popsicle not buying me this adorable, pink, chiffon purse. He said I owned too many purses already, but I wanted that bag so badly!" I took out my embroidered handkerchief. "Oh, it was the most prettiest purse I had ever seen! With the beading-"

"He meant the beginning of _our _story," Fiyero so rudely interrupted.

"It's my story too," I argued.

"Galinda," Biq begged, "please, just tell your side." Poor Biq. He had to be stuck with nasty, old Fiyero. I didn't blame him for wanting to-

"Now. Chop, chop! Clock's a tickin'!" the old prick rattled off.

"Fine. I woke up to the lovely sun shining through the window…"

* * *

"Oh, what a beautiful morning it is!" I trilled, getting out of my bed. I skipped over the window and opened it, sticking my head out to admire the beauty of life. " Aahh la la la! Aaaah la la la la la!" I sang and all the little woodland creatures came into my room. "Oh," I chirped, "isn't this wonderful?" They chirped in agreement. "I need to get ready!" They followed me to my wardrobe. "My, this is quite hard. What ever should I wear?"

* * *

"_Woodland creatures?_" Elphaba asked incredulously. "You hate animals."

I stuck my nose in the air in distaste. "I do not. Now, Elphaba, quit being so rude and let me continue."

"Fine," she muttered.

"Anyways, I was singing away to all my woodland friends…"

* * *

"Oh, this is such a perfect outfit, Mr. Robin!" I sang out, spinning in the light, lilac dress. "You have quite good taste." The bird chirped in response. I gasped in surprise. "I do need a matching ribbon, don't I?"

Skipping over to my vanity set, I looked through my case of ribbons. "Oh dear," I muttered. "I don't think I have one! What ever shall I do?" Two blue birds flew through the window with the chosen ribbon. "Oh! You found it!"

I took out my hair supplies: a fork, curling iron, hairspray, glitter, and my diamond pin, and sat down. Humming a little tune to myself, I started my morning routine. With the sweet mice helping with my curls, I started to apply my make-up. _What a swell morning! _

Behind me, the little squirrels and bunnies were making my bed and cleaning up my side of the room. A little tune was started and I sang along until my appearance was perfect.

"What a splendid job you all are doing!" I cheered when I saw how clean my room looked. Brushing my hair with the fork, I admired my beautiful self in the mirror. "I look marvelous, don't I?" The animals chirped and stuttered their replies.

"Galinda! What have I told you about making so much noise this early?" Elphaba screamed, barging into our room. "I'm trying to have no life and study for a test that always seems to be going on when you're having fun!" She looked around at all my friends. "What did I say about the animals being in here? They're going to make a mess!"

"Elphie, you love animals! And I'm sorry for interrupting your study time. I know how important that is to you." A robin flew in with a pink flower. "Here. For you, my dearest friend. I hope this makes up for all the trouble I have put you through."

Elphaba looked at the rose and then at my innocent face. She threw the rose on the ground. "I don't think a stupid flower could make up for all you have done."

Tears started to flow from my dazzling, blue eyes. "But…but…" my lip quivered.

My friend just shook her head and left.

_Fine. If that's how she's gonna take it._ I announced to my woodland friends that I was leaving for my class.

Mr. Robin flew on my shoulder and asked what was wrong. "My dear, wonderful friend, Elphaba, doesn't seem to care about me. She stomped on my rose and walked away!" I took the handkerchief the gray squirrel offered. "She can be so mean and…and…so Fiyero like!"

* * *

"What?!" Both loser prince and B.F.F exclaimed.

"You heard me." I took out my compact and powdered my nose. _Why did my nose have to look so shiny? _

"I do not use all my time studying, Galinda," Elphaba defended. "And I love animals." She looked at me, humming away to my own little tune, and shook her head. "Where the hell did all the birds and animals come from, anyways?"

"My singing attracted them. Weren't you paying attention?"

"You can't sing," Elphaba stated bluntly.

I gasped, shocked at her lies. "I can _so!_"

"No, you can't."

"Elphaba, I so _can_ sing."

"Galinda, you kill cockroaches with your singing."

"I do _not_!" My temper was rising. Taking deep breaths in, I tried to calm myself.

"Birds fall out of our tree, ending their young, innocent lives, just to get away from your voice."

I narrowed my eyes. "Now that's just mean."

"We have over fifteen nests in our tree, but no birds. Why, you ask? Because your voice scared them off."

"You wanna make a fight out of this?" I threw my purse on the bed and got up, putting my fists out in front of me. "Come on," I said, jumping around. "Put 'em up! Put 'em up!"

"LADIES!" Avaric shouted. "I am not going to get expelled because you two got into a fight in _my _room. Galinda, _please_, get on with your story."

"So I left my room and walked down the sunny path, on my way to class-"

"You don't go to class," Fiyero interjected.

I hit him on the head with my fan. "Hush it. Galinda is telling a story." I smiled at the group, a small giggle escaping my lips, before continuing, "I was on my way to class when…"

* * *

"Biq! What ever are you doing with a box full of feathers?" I asked, shocked when the poor, little boy fell in the mud.

"Um. Uh," he stuttered. "Project."

I sang out and my little friends came and helped him up, brushing off the mud with their tails. "What kind of project? Could I help?"

"Oh, well, no! No!" He took the box and started to walk off. "You cannot help, Miss Galinda."

I ran after him. "But I only want to help!"

* * *

"Galinda, you are such a little liar!" Fiyero accused, pointing his stubby finger at me. "You never act like that!"

"Fiyero, I am _always _like that. I can't help that you are not as caring and loveable as me."

"You're acting like those silly fairy tales."

"That's because my life _is_ a fairy tale! Duh."

"Continue," Avaric muttered, massaging his temples.

* * *

"You can't! Go away!" He ran away, leaving me far behind.

I was stunned. _Why was everyone being so mean to me? _I was about to call out to Biq again when I saw a white feather float into my hands.

"What is this? A feather? Why would Biq have a feather?" A little paw tugged at my skirt. I looked down and my good friend, Mr. Bunny, pointed in the direction my munchkin friend had left in. "You think I should follow him?" He nodded. "Okay!"

* * *

"So you listen to a rabbit, but not to me?" Elphaba asked. "I tell you to clean our room, do your homework, or read a book and I get ignored. But when a _rabbit _tells you to follow someone, you hop right on it?"

"I am getting sick of being interrupted," I complained.

"Me too," Avaric said. "I'm making a new rule. If anyone interrupts, they have to pay up." He distinctly looked at me, Elphaba, and Fiyero. "Got it?" We all mumbled our cooperation. "Good."

"I'm not done," I complained. "I followed after Biq…"

* * *

Hiding behind a tree, I watched as Biq waited on the lawn for somebody. _Why does he look so nervous? _

Mr. Bunny pulled at my skirt and pointed to the north yard. I looked in the direction he pointed to and saw Fiyero running with two, jumbo sized jars of honey. _What in Oz…_ I watched as my ex-boyfriend jog toward my dear friend, Biq.

"You got the feathers?"

"Yeah. I see you have the honey."

Fiyero grinned like an idiot. "Yeah. Took me a dinner date with the lunch lady, cleaning duty, and a signed contract saying I won't start another food fight, but I got the stuff."

Biq looked uneasy. "Are you sure we should do this? I ran into Galinda…"

"You didn't tell her, did you?"

"No! I'm not an idiot!"

Fiyero wiped his brow. "Good. I don't want them knowing about us dumping this stuff on them."

My eyes widened. _They were going to do what? _

"I still think this is a stupid idea."

"I could care less what you think. This is a brilliant idea. We're going to make those girl wish they never picked on me." The boys laughed and walked off with their prank.

I gasped. They were trying to get revenge on me and Elphie!

Taking out a piece of paper, I scribbled their plan and rolled it up. "Mr. Bunny," I whispered, "take this to Elphie. She needs to know."

He nodded and hopped away with my note.

"This is not good," I whispered to myself. _Not good at all._

* * *

"If I recall, you came running into our room, blubbering about how honey and feathers would not go well with your outfit."

"Elphaba, Mr. Bunny sent you the warning," I said pleasantly.

"You owe me one coin, Miss Elphaba."

"For what?"

"You interrupted."

My green friend just growled. "Shove it, Avaric. She's done with her story anyways."

"I am?"

"Yes, because I'm going to tell the story now. It only makes sense."

Nessa looked up from her lap. "Excuse me, but I think I have been the only character not mentioned yet. It's _my _turn."

"No, it's my turn," Elphaba argued.

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"Fight! Fight! Fight!" Fiyero cheered.

"Shut up, Fiyero. Fine," Avaric sighed. "Nessa, Elphaba, you're going to flip a coin."

"Heads."

"Tails."

He flipped the coin. "Looks like it's tails."

"Woohoo!" Nessa cheered. "My contribution to this story was when I saw…"


End file.
